Taking Tea in the Kasbah

Dear Benedict,

Well, well, well. I see you’ve taken things up a notch. If I wasn’t so dang impressed I might be slightly irritated at your tampering with my ski lesson and a teensy bit worried about snorkeling in Hawaii.

Well played, friend. Well played.

It looks like I have to step up my game in order to stay ahead of yours. But before I do that, could you do me a solid and not take any more roles in which you DIE? I fear that’s what’s in store for the next film you’re in talks for now. If I may be so bold, there is something slightly sadistic about your choice of roles. Or, on second thought, maybe it’s just me. Perhaps I’m the sadistic one, carrying on as if I am living in a modern Shakespearean tragedy in which duels and swords are replaced by Netflix and your films. Case in point: Third Star. Yes, this great film has been out for a while (though just recently available in the U.S.), and yes, I KNEW the movie’s premise, and yes, I KNEW how it was going to end. Yet, I STILL WATCHED IT. And bawled like a baby. American tissue companies will be contacting you soon to give you commission.

Sure, I totally get that you’re drawn to these roles because the characters are complex and interesting, the scripts are well written, and the films are good opportunities for your career. Whatever. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re taking them just to create an insatiable urge in me to see the next thing you’re in so I can end my grieving of the last character you portrayed.

Evil genius, that’s what you are.

I am also impressed by this.


As you know, I am not one to be easily impressed so don’t think that let’s you off the hook. Your charm and your accent and your talent only go so far with me. Really, really far, but let’s not quibble about metaphorical distances. Just consider yourself lucky I enjoy listening to Cabin Pressure so much. It’s a nice comedic balance to your numerous untimely deaths.

I do love a man in uniform, Capt. Crieff

And if you ever do find the writing cave, please be informed that I owe you at least one punch in the arm as payback for all of the torment. Just sayin’.

Ardently yours,



*Editor’s note: The views, ideas, and opinions expressed in the Letters from Benedict series are works of fiction and obviously did not come from the actor himself. This series is just my way of expressing adoration for Mr. Cumberbatch and his work and is not intended to be seen or read as a true collaborative writing endeavor with him.

12 thoughts on “Dear Benedict: On Evil Genius and Dying

  1. Tami, I don’t know how you do it. He is indeed an evil genius. He owes it to you to take at least one romantic comedy leading role, or maybe two. In the mean time he should be putting his energies into finding other ways to make up the extreme duress he’s causing you, instead of trying to find your writing cave. Show some compassion Benedict. We are watching!

    • on ,
      Tami Clayton said:

      It’s good to know you’ve got my back, Elizabeth. 😉

      You know, it’s a funny thing but I cannot see him taking a romantic comedy role, at least not any time soon. I don’t know why. His legions of fans would go crazy for it, I’m sure. He’s great at comedy and has brilliant comedic timing, playing off other characters with his charm and witty talent. But I just don’t see him in a romantic comedy, not yet at least. Not that he wouldn’t be good at it and he certainly would be divine to watch in one.

        • on ,
          Tami Clayton said:

          Ah, how well you can read into my psyche, Gloria. But I still don’t see him taking on a rom com role, though. 😉

    • on ,
      Tami Clayton said:

      Perhaps. But somehow I don’t think he’s suffering as much as I am. 🙂

  2. Tami, I’m shocked you haven’t yet made the obvious connection.

    Benedict takes on these roles as a way to garner “leap into my bed arms now, or forever lose the opportunity” fear.

    In my wonky learned opinion, you should reveal the location of the writing cave lest Benedict not live to see the closing credits on any of his future films.

    • on ,
      Tami Clayton said:

      You make it sound so dire, Gloria. And seductive. You romance writers know how to make the rest of us blush with a few choice words. Not that I’m blushing. None of that goin’ on over here.

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