Tami Clayton

This week for “Would You Rather…?” Wednesday we’re mixin’ things up in the kasbah. I have not one, but TWO guests today who are filling in for me while I’m away. The talented and esteemed Sherry Isaac and Gloria Richard agreed to share with all of us a brief slice of one of their chat room sessions in which they discuss a wide variety of “Would You Rather…?” scenarios, giving us intriguing insights into the creative minds of these two talented writers. (I’ll leave you to determine what exactly those insights are…)

So, without further ado, I turn the kasbah cushions over to Sherry and Gloria for:

THE KITCHEN [CHAT] SINK

A Guest Would You Rather Session with Gloria Richard & Sherry Isaac

Chat sessions between my bestie, Gloria Richard, and I, are no secret, but the content, so far, has yet to be shared. More than one fellow writer and friend has voiced the desire to be the proverbial fly on the chat room wall. Gloria and I have considered writing a blog post together, but to post on her blog or mine? That was the question.

And then, Tami Clayton voiced a dilemma–she would be absent–and a theme–Would You Rather…?

In other words, Chat Room Gold.

So here it is, unrehearsed, and for the most part, unedited, except for where text left as it was written would cause readers to seek asylum in the local loony bin.

We can’t have that now, can we?

[Gloria’s Editorial note warning: Some of our chat tromps on an old or new topic because GloriaSherryGloriaSherry we don’t take proper turns.]

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SI Shall we begin our WYR exchange?’Cause I’m ready.

GR Sure! I don’t know that I’m ready. But, when has that stopped me from doing something?

SI Would you rather take tap dance lessons from a three-year-old…

GR Yes!

GR Oh. ERK! I’m supposed to have another option before I choose, aren’t I?

SI So, Gloria, would you rather take tap dance lessons from a three-year-old wearing a bicycle helmet, or salsa lessons wearing a life preserver?

GR Salsa Lessons? Kind of sexy. Except for the life preserver.

SI Just answer the question. After serious contemplation, of course.

GR Could the “life preserver” be bouyant boobs?

SI Ka-Snort on bouyant boobs. I’d have to rent a pair, myself. Speaking of ‘my’, my spell check has a problem with bouyant.

GR Tap dance lessons with a 3 year old wearing a bicycle helmet, then. Although, you didn’t let me qualify…

SI Qualify away.

GR Look at her legs! Too cute! And, she came prepared for when I knock her over.

SI LOL

SI I know you think I don’t have a pic to go with the salsa/life preserver scenario, but think is not always the same as know.

GR Mine [spellcheck] did, too. We’re totally bouyant personalities. Oh! Buoyant. Duh.

GR Yes. I THINK you don’t have a salsa/life preserver pic. And, I suspect you’re going to try to sneak an Emoticon chick in there.

SI Suspect as you like. Bwa-ha-ha!

GR We had the O and U transposed. Jsut liek we do with certain other words.

SI Buoyant. There. That’s what I get for looking at my neighbour’s paper. I had a test taken away and was given a zero for that once. Only, I was really looking to see if my friend was ready with her answer so I could have my turn with her calculator. Honestly.

GR Even IF buoyant, enhanced boobs qualified as a life preserver, I suspect you’d throw me in Lake Superior to test.

SI My mother didn’t think I should be allowed to use a calculator, so refused to buy me one. It wasn’t math class, it was general business, and since by grade ten we had already mastered long division, we were allowed to use calculator for mortgage calculations.

SI Yes, I’m rambling. What can I say? The incident scarred me.

GR *Rolling eyes* on calculator. My chemistry teacher made me sit in a corner in the back of the room during tests b/c I kept helping poor Louie with his answers.

SI Louie? Who’s Louie?

SI Woop! Back on track for Tami. Would you rather borrow a calculator or sit in a corner with Louie?

GR Louie. A kid I went to HS with. Never dated him, tho’. Good looking dude, but I think he was advanced just to get him out of HS.

GR Louie is the one who wanted to sit in the corner with me, so that’s a no brainer. Calculators? In school? In math class? Oh, geesh. I think my brain synapses benefited from my knowledge of the “times tables” AND “go in to’s”.

SI Sadly, I did date my fair share of Louies. You were wise to limit contact to corner. Did your corner connection help you in your overall understanding of chemistry? I only ask as you write some super steamy romance.

GR Hehehehehe. It wasn’t a corner of the classroom. It was those big old cars and back roads and Wolfman on the radio.

GR IYKWIM

SI I Yellow Know With In Myself?

SI Is that your final answer? Because I’m really not sure which choice you’d rather.

GR I’d rather what? Sit in the corner with Louie or steal a calculator? Sorry. BORROW. Oh, Puh-leeeeze. If You Know What I Mean. You were kidding, right?

GR KA-SHNORT!

SI Okay, I’ll rephrase the Would You Rather. Would you rather test a chemistry conclusion by sitting in a car (or corner) with Louie, or use a borrowed calculator?

GR I moved it to sitting in a corner with Louie or necking in the back seat of a car on a dark, country road.

SI Oh. So, which would you rather?

GR I’ll sit in the corner with Louie. It’s the only way he’s going to pass chemistry.

GR How altruistic of me, right? Besides, I was a show off in Chemistry class.

SI How come I’m asking all the would you rather questions here? Not sure you even answered the first one, but moving on, do we have any pictures to go with the most recent WYR train?

GR ERK! No. But, I’m sure I could whip up a HS yearbook picture of Louie.

SI Nah. We’d have to get his permission. Too complicated.

SI You were also a show off in BeBes, but I digress. And, you were allowed, little Miss Maggie Finalist, you.

GR That was spontaneous glee at Bebe’s. NOT showing off. How did we get off tap dance/salsa????

SI You’re asking me as though you think I have an intelligent answer.

GR KA-SNORT! You seriously think that I think that you have an intelligent answer to that question??????

GR You’re salsa dancing in a life preserver, cutie.

SI Would you rather dance in a dressing room without Carole’s video-phone to record the event for posterity, or dance in a crowded grocery store aisle with security cameras detailing every figure eight and shimmy?

GR And, I see no supporting argument FOR that position. Just saying….

GR Which is why you changed topic, isn’t it?

SI Well, until I’m asked a WYR question, I don’t have to answer anything, intelligent or otherwise.

SI Yes. That was a prompt.

GR Hmmmmm. Tough question. Music in grocery stores isn’t conducive to spontaneous glee. I’d go for Cavender’s Boot City if that was on the table.

SI So, grocery store? Hmm. That answer may upset Carole and cause her to download said video.

GR Okay. WYR belly dance on a table in a crowded bar or in front of NASCAR fans at Tom Thumb? PHLPHLPHL.

SI Snort! Thought that read, Cadaver’s Boot City!

GR NO! NOT grocery store.

SI Waiting for the or…

SI Score in a game of tonsil hockey with Shemar Moore?

GR The only cadaver’s are the hides on the boots I covet. Wonder if I could distract them enough to two-step my way out of the store.

SI I only make the suggestion in case you were stumped. I’m that good a friend.

SI Are you going to give me a choice, or shall I go with Shemar?

GR Shemar is NOT my hubba-hubba dream boat. He’s yours. Would you rather give Shemar a private Belly Dance or…

GR Get stuck in the Criminal Minds plane restroom with him?

SI This is embarrassing. I thought your OR was an AND and was waiting for a choice that you’d already given!

GR Wherein said tonsil tickling could take place. IYKWIM.

GR You obviously need to recaffeinate.

GR Did you make your choice? Eh? Hunh? Did you?

SI Criminal Minds plane? As in, mile-high club? Ew. I saw that CSI scene where Sarah shines the blue light thingee that picks up on biological evidence in a crime scene airplane.

SI How about this choice? Would you rather be buried in a locker room full of smelly sweat socks, or…

GR Okay. So you’re going for a private belly dance performance, then.

SI Can I lose my belly first?

SI …go mechanical bull riding with your BFF?

GR MECHANICAL BULL RIDING. No brainer! Love it!

SI I think that makes a rather nice wrap up for Would You Rather, don’t you?

GR I think I concur. Would you rather keep this going or close and get back to REAL business. Like…

SI Gloria?

GR Sherry?

SI Would You Rather I copied and pasted and sent this post to Tami?

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Respectfully submitted,

Gloria and Sherry

GLORIA RICHARD, author of Contemporary Single Title Romance and Middle Grade Fantasy Series, can’t remember a time she didn’t love to read, a time she didn’t love word play, a time she didn’t love to laugh.

Raised by Nancy Drew and Miss Marple, SHERRY ISAAC weaves love, life and forgiveness into tales that transcend all things, including the grave.

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Thanks, Gloria and Sherry, for the hilarious, wild ride through one of your chat sessions! And you, charming readers, get a chance to weigh in on any of these fine “Would You Rather…?” questions posed by these ladies. Take your pick. Sit, sip, and share your thoughts. I always love to hear from you.