There’s a lot of Valentine’s Day gift-giving advice out there today. Much of it is good, some of it is even great. Like this advice from vlogbrothers co-conspirator, John Green: (yes, you’re right – I can’t get enough of the vlogbrothers)
But I haven’t seen anyone hand out this bit of advice for all of you Valentine gift-givers, so I would be remiss if I didn’t share this. My advice may make me unpopular, but I consider it my civic duty to share this with you, my super-intelligent, charming readers:
Whatever you do, no matter what your well-intentioned, yet misguided heart tells you, do NOT buy a Snuggie for your loved one. Don’t. Do. It.
*Normally, this would be where I insert a fun little image, but I refuse to give the blanket-like-object-that-must-not-be-named anymore publicity.*
Now I realize some of you out there may be scoffing at this advice, maybe even arguing with the words you see here on your computer that the blanket-like-object-that-must-not-be-named is a perfectly fine invention, to which I say HA! (Actually, I would say lots of other things but I do want to keep this blog out of the gutter, at least for today.) It is an UNNECCESARY THING IN THIS WORLD.
But let me be clear: even if you are like me and you like a good blanket to cuddle up with, RESIST THE URGE TO EVER PURCHASE ONE OR EVEN HINT AT THE IDEA THAT the BLANKET-LIKE-THING-THAT-SHOULD-NOT-BE-NAMED WOULD BE GOOD TO GET AS A GIFT.
What should I do when I get cold and want to snuggle on the sofa while watching t.v. or read, you ask? Go grab a BLANKET and YOUR ROBE, like people have been doing for thousands of years centuries. Blankets and robes have been around a looooong time and for good reason: they get the job done. No need for another silly marketing ploy designed to get you to part with your hard-earned money product to do what robes and blankets can do.
Now, for those of you who already own a one, there is hope. Not all is lost. I have four little words for you that will save you from a downward, hopeless spiral of purchasing unnecessary products for yourself or your loved ones:
GET RID OF IT.
Get it out of the house, donate it, burn it, use it as a flag on the float you’re building, whatever. Just get rid of it. Trust me, you’ll thank me and so will your sad, yet perfectly wearable robe and the ultra soft fleece blanket draped over your bed.
So join me in helping save the world from what could be the start of Armageddon. Refuse to buy pointless, unnecessary things.
Better yet, support an author. Buy a book instead.
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Stacy said:
But… what if I bought a snuggie instead of a robe and don’t currently have a robe to replace my snuggie? Wouldn’t the robe then be the unnecessary item, since I already have a snuggie instead? I could then use the funds from not buying said robe to buy a book instead… just sayin’ 🙂
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Tami Clayton said:
No, sorry. The blanket-thing-that-must-not-be-named must be banished. Go buy a blanket or robe and visit a used bookstore or the library for the book. 😉 Thanks for commenting!
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Liv Rancourt said:
So you’re saying you don’t like Snuggies?
😉
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Tami Clayton said:
Liv – Was I too subtle? 😉 Thanks for commenting.
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A.M. Sch said:
I couldn’t have said this any better myself.
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Tami Clayton said:
I’m glad to know there are other like-minded people out there. 🙂
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laird sapir said:
I once received a Snuggie for a gift. It was a joke gift, of course, and I laughed. really hard. And I actually liked the Snuggie, but got rid of it after a while because I had no place to put it. And a Snuggie folded over the back of the couch? not so classy.
So…I have to agree with you: Snuggie = unnecessary. Funny? yes. A good gift item? Only if you are buying a 4 foot bear to go with it. 🙂
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Tami Clayton said:
Agreed. A 4 foot bear is about the ONLY thing that goes with a Snuggie. 🙂
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Lee I said:
I thought Snuggies were paper diapers for babies, which have been upsized for us incontinent adults as wells. So what is this drape-it-over-the-couch suggestion? None of this makes any sense to me.
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Lee I said:
“as well.”
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Sherry Isaac said:
Use it as a flag for your float. Snort. I’m with you, Tami. Buy a book. Buy my book. Buy another book. And if you’re truly desperate to work a snuggle into V-day, forget the noun and verb it.
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Tami Clayton said:
I love it – forget the noun and verb it. Well said, Sherry. 🙂